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Nerdery With Raitzeno: Vehicular Spitballing

So i may have mentioned my Wednesday night RPG campaign is an Avatars game, in which we are playing as ourselves in what’s effectively an isekai. One of my friends has brought his full-size van into this world, the other has brought his motorcycle. I brought my backpack with all my gadgets, and we’ve managed to cobble together ways to make them all work in a world where petrol, black powder, and anything nuclear are banned by the gods

(I’ll be putting my voice in bold to differentiate during conversation for this retelling. Hopefully it makes things easier to separate.)


But on the way home from today’s session, Pacman, as I call him - the guy that has his motorcycle - was talking about one of his previous characters, who used to accelerate motorcycles to top speed directly at enemies and jump off at the last moment. I went “So it’s a reverse Cannonball?” “What?” “It’s Wolverine throwing Colossus at someone. :p” “...Huh, I guess it is XD”

Illustration for article titled Nerdery With Raitzeno: Vehicular Spitballing

So we transition from that conversation to what i’m newly able to do with magic - my characters is a Forces-focused mage who just hit Forces 3 - and what I’ll be able to do later on. “Forces 4 has some REALLY cool shit.” “Like what?” So i start going down the list in the rulebook, on my phone. There’s…

Bestow Invisibility

“Wait you can make me, the werewolf bruiser, invisible?” “Yes, and with an earlier Forces spell I can also make you completely silent.”Shitballs.”


Burst of Speed

“Every successful die adds your original Speed again into your new Speed, only works on me. Hmm. Handy for escapes, not much else with my capabilities and tendencies.”


Control Weather

“Anything non-disastrous; I make make rain, thunderstorms, snow, clear sky... just not typhoons or tornadoes etc.”


Control Velocity

“Now that seems usef.... HOLY SHIT.” “What?” And I read the spell off to him:

Illustration for article titled Nerdery With Raitzeno: Vehicular Spitballing

“Holy shit, dude. It doesn’t even have a cost, and it’s an interrupt.” “Are you fucking kidding me?” “No.” “What’s the dice pool?” “It’s.... *scrolls a bit* INT+Science+Forces. It’s Forces 4 so I have a base of 11 dice to roll there. o_o” “JESUS HELL.”

“How fast does your motorcycle go?” “I can get to 80 mph from a full stop in the course of a 6-second round.” “Nice.” “Yeah, and with 11 dice, the way they roll for you... let’s say 5 successes on average?” “Seems safe for our usual results. ..... That’s 2,560 mph.” “Holy shit.” “What’s the speed of sound again?” “About 750mph at sea level. Holy shit.” “Holy shit is right, your motorcycle is suddenly moving at Mach 3.” “I have to jump off a LOT earlier.” “No, you jump off and then I interrupt and blow it right through them.” “It’s 600 pounds of steel. I don’t know if anything on this planet can survive that.” “A thick wall of adamantite might be able to. It’s literally magic materialized as a metal, ridiculously durable. ....Wait a minute.” And I flip back to the part about Size.


“Now what?” “It talks about being able to affect an entire 18-wheeler.” “You’re fucking with me.” “Nope. Gives me the Size on it and everything.” “Oh my fucking god.” “How fast DOES a semi go?” “Depends on—” “Standard Mack truck, level ground?” “70~80 mph.” “So it’s now going mach 3 as well.” “And a fully loaded semi can easily be 80,000 lbs.” “I don’t even want to think about the foot-pounds involved in an impact with that.” “Even if your adamantite shit survives, I’m pretty sure the shockwave of the impact just disintegrates everything around it for miles.” “This is absolutely and totally busted. There’s no way the GM will let us do this. You know that right?” “Yeah. :<”

And thus the dream died.

This is pretty normal for our drive home from game. What kind of wacky theoretical conversations do you guys have about your D&D sessions? :p

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